"It's my brother!" the Sub-warden exclaimed, in a warning whisper."Speak out, and be quick about it!"

The appeal was evidently addressed to the Lord Chancellor, whoinstantly replied, in a shrill monotone, like a little boy repeatingthe alphabet, "As I was remarking, your Sub-Excellency, this portentousmovement--"

"You began too soon!" the other interrupted, scarcely able to restrainhimself to a whisper, so great was his excitement. "He couldn't haveheard you. Begin again!" "As I was remarking," chanted the obedientLord Chancellor, "this portentous movement has already assumed thedimensions of a Revolution!"

"And what are the dimensions of a Revolution?" The voice was genial andmellow, and the face of the tall dignified old man, who had justentered the room, leading Sylvie by the hand, and with Bruno ridingtriumphantly on his shoulder, was too noble and gentle to have scared aless guilty man: but the Lord Chancellor turned pale instantly,and could hardly articulate the words "The dimensions your--your High Excellency? I--I--scarcely comprehend!"

"Well, the length, breadth, and thickness, if you like it better!"And the old man smiled, half-contemptuously.

The Lord Chancellor recovered himself with a great effort, and pointedto the open window. "If your High Excellency will listen for a momentto the shouts of the exasperated populace--" ("of the exasperatedpopulace!" the Sub-Warden repeated in a louder tone, as the LordChancellor, being in a state of abject terror, had dropped almost intoa whisper) "--you will understand what it is they want. "

And at that moment there surged into the room a hoarse confused cry, inwhich the only clearly audible words were "Less--bread--More--taxes!"The old man laughed heartily. "What in the world--" he was beginning:but the Chancellor heard him not. "Some mistake!" he muttered,hurrying to the window, from which he shortly returned with an air ofrelief. "Now listen!" he exclaimed, holding up his hand impressively.And now the words came quite distinctly, and with the regularity of theticking of a clock, "More--bread--Less taxes!'"

"More bread!" the Warden repeated in astonishment. "Why, the newGovernment Bakery was opened only last week, and I gave orders to sellthe bread at cost-price during the present scarcity! What can theyexpect more?"

"The Bakery's closed, y'reince!" the Chancellor said, more loudly andclearly than he had spoken yet. He was emboldened by the consciousnessthat here, at least, he had evidence to produce: and he placed in theWarden's hands a few printed notices, that were lying ready, with someopen ledgers, on a side-table.

"Yes, yes, I see!" the Warden muttered, glancing carelessly throughthem. "Order countermanded by my brother, and supposed to be my doing!Rather sharp practice! It's all right!" he added in a louder tone."My name is signed to it: so I take it on myself. But what do theymean by 'Less Taxes'? How can they be less? I abolished the last ofthem a month ago!"

"It's been put on again, y'reince, and by y'reince's own orders!",and other printed notices were submitted for inspection.

The Warden, whilst looking them over, glanced once or twice at theSub-Warden, who had seated himself before one of the open ledgers,and was quite absorbed in adding it up; but he merely repeated"It's all right. I accept it as my doing."

"And they do say," the Chancellor went on sheepishly--looking muchmore like a convicted thief than an Officer of State, "that a change ofGovernment, by the abolition of the Sub-Warden---I mean," he hastilyadded, on seeing the Warden's look of astonishment, "the abolition ofthe office of Sub-Warden, and giving the present holder the right toact as Vice-Warden whenever the Warden is absent --would appease allthis seedling discontent I mean," he added, glancing at a paper he heldin his hand, "all this seething discontent!"

"For fifteen years," put in a deep but very harsh voice, "my husbandhas been acting as Sub-Warden. It is too long! It is much too long!"My Lady was a vast creature at all times: but, when she frowned andfolded her arms, as now, she looked more gigantic than ever, and madeone try to fancy what a haystack would look like, if out of temper.

"He would distinguish himself as a Vice!" my Lady proceeded, being fartoo stupid to see the double meaning of her words. "There has been nosuch Vice in Outland for many a long year, as he would be!"

"What course would you suggest, Sister?" the Warden mildly enquired.

My Lady stamped, which was undignified: and snorted, which wasungraceful. "This is no jesting matter!" she bellowed.

"I will consult my brother, said the Warden. "Brother!"

"--and seven makes a hundred and ninety-four, which is sixteen andtwo-pence," the Sub-Warden replied. "Put down two and carry sixteen."

The Chancellor raised his hands and eyebrows, lost in admiration."Such a man of business!" he murmured.

"Brother, could I have a word with you in my Study?" the Warden said ina louder tone. The Sub-Warden rose with alacrity, and the two left theroom together.

My Lady turned to the Professor, who had uncovered the urn, and wastaking its temperature with his pocket-thermometer. "Professor!" shebegan, so loudly and suddenly that even Uggug, who had gone to sleep inhis chair, left off snoring and opened one eye. The Professor pocketedhis thermometer in a moment, clasped his hands, and put his head on oneside with a meek smile

"You were teaching my son before breakfast, I believe?" my Lady loftilyremarked. "I hope he strikes you as having talent?"

"Oh, very much so indeed, my Lady!" the Professor hastily replied,unconsciously rubbing his ear, while some painful recollection seemedto cross his mind. "I was very forcibly struck by His Magnificence,I assure you!"

"He is a charming boy!" my Lady exclaimed. "Even his snores are moremusical than those of other boys!"

If that were so, the Professor seemed to think, the snores of other boysmust be something too awful to be endured: but he was a cautious man,and he said nothing.

"And he's so clever!" my Lady continued. "No one will enjoy yourLecture more by the way, have you fixed the time for it yet?You've never given one, you know: and it was promised years ago,before you--

"Yes, yes, my Lady, I know! Perhaps next Tuesday or Tuesday week--"

"That will do very well," said my Lady, graciously. "Of course you willlet the Other Professor lecture as well?"

"I think not, my Lady? the Professor said with some hesitation."You see, he always stands with his back to the audience.It does very well for reciting; but for lecturing--"

"You are quite right," said my Lady. "And, now I come to think of it,there would hardly be time for more than one Lecture. And it will gooff all the better, if we begin with a Banquet, and a Fancy-dressBall--"

"It will indeed!" the Professor cried, with enthusiasm.

"I shall come as a Grass-hopper," my Lady calmly proceeded."What shall you come as, Professor?"

The Professor smiled feebly. "I shall come as--as early as I can,my Lady!"

"You mustn't come in before the doors are opened," said my Lady.

"I ca'n't," said the Professor. "Excuse me a moment. As this is LadySylvie's birthday, I would like to--" and he rushed away.

Bruno began feeling in his pockets, looking more and more melancholy ashe did so: then he put his thumb in his mouth, and considered for aminute: then he quietly left the room.

He had hardly done so before the Professor was back again, quite out ofbreath. "Wishing you many happy returns of the day, my dear child!"he went on, addressing the smiling little girl, who had run to meet him."Allow me to give you a birthday-present. It's a second-handpincushion, my dear. And it only cost fourpence-halfpenny!"

"Thank you, it's very pretty!" And Sylvie rewarded the old man with ahearty kiss.

"And the pins they gave me for nothing!" the Professor added in highglee. "Fifteen of 'em, and only one bent!"

"I'll make the bent one into a hook!" said Sylvie. "To catch Brunowith, when he runs away from his lessons!"

"You ca'n't guess what my present is!" said Uggug, who had taken thebutter-dish from the table, and was standing behind her, with a wickedleer on his face.

"No, I ca'n't guess," Sylvie said without looking up. She was stillexamining the Professor's pincushion.

"It's this!" cried the bad boy, exultingly, as he emptied the dish overher, and then, with a grin of delight at his own cleverness, lookedround for applause.

Sylvie coloured crimson, as she shook off the butter from her frock:but she kept her lips tight shut, and walked away to the window, whereshe stood looking out and trying to recover her temper.

Uggug's triumph was a very short one: the Sub-Warden had returned,just in time to be a witness of his dear child's playfulness,and in another moment a skilfully-applied box on the ear had changedthe grin of delight into a howl of pain.

"My darling!" cried his mother, enfolding him in her fat arms."Did they box his ears for nothing? A precious pet!"

"It's not for nothing!" growled the angry father. "Are you aware,Madam, that I pay the house-bills, out of a fixed annual sum?The loss of all that wasted butter falls on me! Do you hear, Madam!"

"Hold your tongue, Sir!" My Lady spoke very quietly--almost in awhisper. But there was something in her look which silenced him."Don't you see it was only a joke? And a very clever one, too!He only meant that he loved nobody but her! And, instead of beingpleased with the compliment, the spiteful little thing has gone awayin a huff!"

The Sub-Warden was a very good hand at changing a subject. He walkedacross to the window. "My dear," he said, "is that a pig that I seedown below, rooting about among your flower-beds?"

"A pig!" shrieked my Lady, rushing madly to the window, and almostpushing her husband out, in her anxiety to see for herself. "Whose pigis it? How did it get in? Where's that crazy Gardener gone?"

At this moment Bruno re-entered the room, and passing Uggug (who wasblubbering his loudest, in the hope of attracting notice) as if he wasquite used to that sort of thing, he ran up to Sylvie and threw hisarms round her. "I went to my toy-cupboard," he said with a verysorrowful face, "to see if there were somefin fit for a present for oo!And there isn't nuffin! They's all broken, every one!And I haven't got no money left, to buy oo a birthday-present!And I ca'n't give oo nuffin but this!" ("This" was a very earnest hugand a kiss.)

"Oh, thank you, darling!" cried Sylvie. "I like your present best ofall!" (But if so, why did she give it back so quickly?)

His Sub-Excellency turned and patted the two children on the head withhis long lean hands. "Go away, dears!" he said. "There's business totalk over. "

Sylvie and Bruno went away hand in hand: but, on reaching the door,Sylvie came back again and went up to Uggug timidly. "I don't mindabout the butter," she said, "and I--I'm sorry he hurt you!" And shetried to shake hands with the little ruffian: but Uggug only blubberedlouder, and wouldn't make friends. Sylvie left the room with a sigh.

The Sub-Warden glared angrily at his weeping son. "Leave the room,Sirrah!" he said, as loud as he dared. His wife was still leaning outof the window, and kept repeating "I ca'n't see that pig! Where is it?"

"It's moved to the right now it's gone a little to the left," said theSub-Warden: but he had his back to the window, and was making signalsto the Lord Chancellor, pointing to Uggug and the door, with many acunning nod and wink.

[Image...Removal of Uggug]

The Chancellor caught his meaning at last, and, crossing theroom, took that interesting child by the ear the next moment he andUggug were out of the room, and the door shut behind them: but notbefore one piercing yell had rung through the room, and reached theears of the fond mother.

"What is that hideous noise?" she fiercely asked, turning upon herstartled husband.

"It's some hyaena--or other," replied the Sub-Warden, looking vaguelyup to the ceiling, as if that was where they usually were to be found."Let us to business, my dear. Here comes the Warden." And he picked upfrom the floor a wandering scrap of manuscript, on which I just caughtthe words 'after which Election duly holden the said Sibimet andTabikat his wife may at their pleasure assume Imperial--' before,with a guilty look, he crumpled it up in his hand.