Chapter 5 - Wool and Water
She caught the shawl as she spoke, and looked about for theowner: in another moment the White Queen came running wildlythrough the wood, with both arms stretched out wide, as if shewere flying, and Alice very civilly went to meet her with theshawl.
`I'm very glad I happened to be in the way,' Alice said, as shehelped her to put on her shawl again.
The While Queen only looked at her in a helpless frightenedsort of way, and kept repeating something in a whisper toherself that sounded like `bread-and-butter, bread-and-butter,'and Alice felt that if there was to be any conversation at all,she must manage it herself. So she began rather timidly: `Am Iaddressing the White Queen?'
`Well, yes, if you call that a-dressing,' The Queen said. `Itisn't
Alice thought it would never do to have an argument at the verybeginning of their conversation, so she smiled and said, `If yourMajesty will only tell me the right way to begin, I'll do it aswell as I can.'
`But I don't want it done at all!' groaned the poor Queen.`I've been a-dressing myself for the last two hours.'
It would have been all the better, as it seemed to Alice, ifshe had got some one else to dress her, she was so dreadfullyuntidy. `Every single thing's crooked,' Alice thought toherself, `and she's all over pins! -- may I put your shawlstraight for you?' she added aloud.
`I don't know what's the matter with it!' the Queen said, in amelancholy voice. `It's out of temper, I think. I've pinned ithere, and I've pinned it there, but there's no pleasing it!'
`It
`The brush has got entangled in it!' the Queen said with asigh. `And I lost the comb yesterday.'
Alice carefully released the brush, and did her best to get thehair into order. `Come, you look rather better now!' she said,after altering most of the pins. `But really you should have alady's maid!'
`I'm sure I'll take you with pleasure!' the Queen said.`Twopence a week, and jam every other day.'
Alice couldn't help laughing, as she said, `I don't want you tohire
`It's very good jam,' said the Queen.
`Well, I don't want any
`You couldn't have it if you
`It
`No, it can't,' said the Queen. `It's jam every
`I don't understand you,' said Alice. `It's dreadfullyconfusing!'
`That's the effect of living backwards,' the Queen said kindly:
`it always makes one a little giddy at first --
`Living backwards!' Alice repeated in great astonishment. `Inever heard of such a thing!'
` -- but there's one great advantage in it, that one's memoryworks both ways.'
`I'm sure
`It's a poor sort of memory that only works backwards,' theQueen remarked.
`What sort of things do
`Oh, things that happened the week after next,' the Queenreplied in a careless tone. `For instance, now,' she went on,sticking a large piece of plaster [band-aid] on her finger as shespoke, `there's the King's Messenger. He's in prison now, beingpunished: and the trial doesn't even begin till next Wednesday:and of course the crime comes last of all.'
`Suppose he never commits the crime?' said Alice.
`That would be all the better wouldn't it?' the Queen said, asshe bound the plaster round her finger with a bit of ribbon.
Alice felt there was no denying
`You're wrong
`Only for faults,' said Alice.
`And you were all the better for it, I know!' the Queen saidtriumphantly.
`Yes, but then I
`But if you
Alice was just beginning to say `There's a mistake somewhere-,'** when the Queen began screaming so loud that she had to leavethe sentence unfinished. `Oh, oh, oh!' shouted the Queen,shaking her hand about as if she wanted to shake it off. `Myfinger's bleeding! Oh, oh, oh, oh!'
Her screams were so exactly like the whistle of a steam-engine,that Alice had to hold both her hands over her ears.
`What
`I haven't pricked it
`When do you expect to do it?' Alice asked, feeling very muchinclined to laugh.
`When I fasten my shawl again,' the poor Queen groaned out:`the brooch will come undone directly. Oh, oh!' As she said thewords the brooch flew open, and the Queen clutched wildly at it,and tried to clasp it again.
`Take care!' cried Alice. `You're holding it all crooked!'And she caught at the brooch; but it was too late: the pin hadslipped, and the Queen had pricked her finger.
`That accounts for the bleeding, you see,' she said to Alicewith a smile. `Now you understand the way things happen here.'
`But why don't you scream now?' Alice asked, holding her handsready to put over her ears again.
`Why, I've done all the screaming already,' said the Queen.`What would be the good of having it all over again?'
By this time it was getting light. `The crow must have flownaway, I think,' said Alice: `I'm so glad it's gone. I thoughtit was the night coming on.'
`I wish
`Only it is so
`Oh, don't go on like that!' cried the poor Queen, wringing herhands in despair. `Consider what a great girl you are. Considerwhat a long way you've come to-day. Consider what o'clock it is.
Consider anything, only don't cry!'
Alice could not help laughing at this, even in the midst of hertears. `Can
`That's the way it's done,' the Queen said with great decision:
`nobody can do two things at once, you know. Let's consider youage to begin with -- how old are you?'
`I`m seven and a half exactly.'
`You needn't say "exactually,"' the Queen remarked: `I canbelieve it without that. Now I'll give
I'm just one hundred and one, five months and a day.'
`I can't believe
`Can't you?' the Queen said in a pitying tone. `Try again:draw a long breath, and shut your eyes.'
Alice laughed. `There's not use trying,' she said: `one
`I daresay you haven't had much practice,' said the Queen.`When I was your age, I always did it for half-an-hour a day.Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible thingsbefore breakfast. There goes the shawl again!'
The brooch had come undone as she spoke, and a sudden gust ofwind blew the Queen's shawl across a little brook. The Queenspread out her arms again, and went flying after it, and thistime she succeeded in catching it for herself. `I've got!' shecried in a triumphant tone. `Now you shall see me pin it onagain, all by myself!'
`Then I hope your finger is better now?' Alice said verypolitely, as she crossed the little brook after the Queen.
`Oh, much better!' cried the Queen, her voice rising to asqueak as she went on. `Much be-etter! Be-etter! Be-e-e-etter!
Be-e-ehh!' The last word ended in a long bleat, so like a sheepthat Alice quite started.
She looked at the Queen, who seemed to have suddenly wrappedherself up in wool. Alice rubbed her eyes, and looked again.She couldn't make out what had happened at all. Was she in ashop? And was that really - was it really a
`What is it you want to buy?' the Sheep said at last, lookingup for a moment from her knitting.
`I don't
`You may look in front of you, and on both sides, if you like,'said the Sheep: `but you can't look
But these, as it happened, Alice had
The shop seemed to be full of all manner of curious things --but the oddest part of it all was, that whenever she looked hardat any shelf, to make out exactly what it had on it, thatparticular shelf was always quite empty: though the others roundit were crowded as full as they could hold.
`Things flow about so here!' she said at last in a plaintivetone, after she had spent a minute or so in vainly pursuing alarge bright thing, that looked sometimes like a doll andsometimes like a work-box, and was always in the shelf next abovethe one she was looking at. `And this one is the most provokingof all -- but I'll tell you what -- ' she added, as a suddenthought struck her, `I'll follow it up to the very top shelf ofall. It'll puzzle it to go through the ceiling, I expect!'
But even this plan failed: the `thing' went through theceiling as quietly as possible, as if it were quite used to it.
`Are you a child or a teetotum?' the Sheep said, as she took upanother pair of needles. `You'll make me giddy soon, if you goon turning round like that.' She was now working with fourteenpairs at once, and Alice couldn't help looking at her in greatastonishment.
`How
`Can you row?' the Sheep asked, handing her a pair of knitting-needles as she spoke.
`Yes, a little -- but not on land -- and not with needles -- 'Alice was beginning to say, when suddenly the needles turned intooars in her hands, and she found they were in a little boat,gliding along between banks: so there was nothing for it but todo her best.
`Feather!' cried the Sheep, as she took up another pair ofneedles.
This didn't sound like a remark that needed any answer, soAlice said nothing, but pulled away. There was something veryqueer about the water, she thought, as every now and then theoars got fast in it, and would hardly come out again.
`Feather! Feather!' the Sheep cried again, taking moreneedles. `You'll be catching a crab directly.'
`A dear little crab!' thought Alice. `I should like that.'
`Didn't you hear me say "Feather"?' the Sheep cried angrily,taking up quite a bunch of needles.
`Indeed I did,' said Alice: `you've said it very often -- andvery loud. Please, where
`In the water, of course!' said the Sheep, sticking some of theneedles into her hair, as her hands were full. `Feather, I say!'
`
`You are,` said the Sheet: `you're a little goose.'
This offended Alice a little, so there was no more conversationfor a minute or two, while the boat glided gently on, sometimesamong beds of weeds (which made the oars stick fast in the water,worse then ever), and sometimes under trees, but always with thesame tall river-banks frowning over their heads.
`Oh, please! There are some scented rushes!' Alice cried in asudden transport of delight. `There really are -- and
`You needn't say "please" to
`No, but I meant -- please, may we wait and pick some?' Alicepleaded. `If you don't mind stopping the boat for a minute.'
`How am
So the boat was left to drift down the stream as it would, tillit glided gently in among the waving rushes. And then the littlesleeves were carefully rolled up, and the little arms wereplunged in elbow-deep to get the rushes a good long way downbefore breaking them off -- and for a while Alice forgot allabout the Sheep and the knitting, as she bent over the side ofthe boat, with just the ends of her tangled hair dipping into thewater -- while with bright eager eyes she caught at one bunchafter another of the darling scented rushes.
`I only hope the boat won't tipple over!' she said to herself.Oh,
`The prettiest are always further!' she said at last, with asigh at the obstinacy of the rushes in growing so far off, as,with flushed cheeks and dripping hair and hands, she scrambledback into her place, and began to arrange her new-foundtreasures.
What mattered it to her just than that the rushes had begun tofade, and to lose all their scent and beauty, from the verymoment that she picked them? Even real scented rushes, you know,last only a very little while -- and these, being dream-rushes,melted away almost like snow, as they lay in heaps at her feet --but Alice hardly noticed this, there were so many other curiousthings to think about.
They hadn't gone much farther before the blade of one of theoars got fast in the water and
However, she wasn't hurt, and was soon up again: the Sheepwent on with her knitting all the while, just as if nothing hadhappened. `That was a nice crab you caught!' she remarked, asAlice got back into her place, very much relieved to find herselfstill in the boat.
`Was it? I didn't see it,' Said Alice, peeping cautiously overthe side of the boat into the dark water. `I wish it hadn't letgo -- I should so like to see a little crab to take home withme!' But the Sheep only laughed scornfully, and went on with herknitting.
`Are there many crabs here?' said Alice.
`Crabs, and all sorts of things,' said the Sheep: `plenty ofchoice, only make up your mind. Now, what
`To buy!' Alice echoes in a tone that was half astonished andhalf frightened -- for the oars, and the boat, and the river,had vanished all in a moment, and she was back again in thelittle dark shop.
`I should like to buy an egg, please,' she said timidly. `Howdo you sell them?'
`Fivepence farthing for one -- Twopence for two,' the Sheepreplied.
`Then two are cheaper than one?' Alice said in a surprisedtone, taking out her purse.
`Only you
`Then I'll have
The Sheep took the money, and put it away in a box: then shesaid `I never put things into people's hands -- that would neverdo -- you must get it for yourself.' And so saying, she went offto the other end of the shop, and set the egg upright on a shelf.
`I wonder
So she went on, wondering more and more at every step, aseverything turned into a tree the moment she came up to it, andshe quite expected the egg to do the same.