`Well, this

So she got up and walked about -- rather stiffly just at first,as she was afraid that the crown might come off: but shecomforted herself with the thought that there was nobody to seeher, `and if I really am a Queen,' she said as she sat downagain, `I shall be able to manage it quite well in time.'

Everything was happening so oddly that she didn't feel a bitsurprised at finding the Red Queen and the White Queen sittingclose to her, one on each side: she would have like very much toask them how they came there, but she feared it would not bequite civil. However, there would be no harm, she thought, inasking if the game was over. `Please, would you tell me -- ' shebegan, looking timidly at the Red Queen.

`Speak when you're spoken to!' The Queen sharply interruptedher.

`But if everybody obeyed that rule,' said Alice, who was alwaysready for a little argument, `and if you only spoke when you werespoken to, and the other person always waited for

`Ridiculous!' cried the Queen. `Why, don't you see, child -- 'here she broke off with a frown, and, after thinking for aminute, suddenly changed the subject of the conversation. `Whatdo you mean by `If you really are a Queen"? What right have youto all yourself so? You can't be a Queen, you know, till you'vepassed the proper examination. And the sooner we begin it, thebetter.'

`I only said "if"!' poor Alice pleaded in a piteous tone.

The two Queens looked at each other, and the Red Queenremarked, with a little shudder, `She

`But she said a great deal more than that!' the White Queenmoaned, wringing her hands. `Oh, ever so much more than that!'

`So you did, you know,' the Red Queen said to Alice. `Alwaysspeak the truth -- think before you speak -- and write it downafterwards.'

`I'm sure I didn't mean -- ' Alice was beginning, but the RedQueen interrupted her impatiently.

`That's just what I complain of! You

`I don't deny things with my

`Nobody said you did,' said the Red Queen. `I said youcouldn't if you tried.'

`She's in that state of mind,' said the White Queen, `that shewants to deny

`A nasty, vicious temper,' the Red Queen remarked; and thenthere was an uncomfortable silence for a minute or two.

The Red Queen broke the silence by saying to the White Queen,`I invite you to Alice's dinner-party this afternoon.'

The White Queen smiled feebly, and said `And I invite

`I didn't know I was to have a party at all,' said Alice; `butif there is to be one, I think

`We gave you the opportunity of doing it,' the Red Queenremarked: `but I daresay you've not had many lessons in mannersyet?'

`Manners are not taught in lessons,' said Alice. `Lessonsteach you to do sums, and things of that sort.'

`And you do Addition?' the White Queen asked. `What's one andone and one and one and one and one and one and one and one andone?'

`I don't know,' said Alice. `I lost count.'

`She can't do Addition,' the Red Queen interrupted. `Can youdo Subtraction? Take nine from eight.'

`Nine from eight I can't, you know,' Alice replied veryreadily: `but -- '

`She can't do Subtraction,' said the White Queen. `Can you doDivision? Divide a loaf by a knife -- what's the answer tothat?'

`I suppose -- ' Alice was beginning, but the Red Queen answeredfor her. `Bread-and-butter, of course. Try another Subtractionsum. Take a bone from a dog: what remains?'

Alice considered. `The bone wouldn't remain, of course, if Itook it -- and the dog wouldn't remain; it would come to bite me-- and I'm sure I shouldn't remain!'

`Then you think nothing would remain?' said the Red Queen.

`I think that's the answer.'

`Wrong, as usual,' said the Red Queen: `the dog's temper wouldremain.'

`But I don't see how -- '

`Why, look here!' the Red Queen cried. `The dog would lose itstemper, wouldn't it?'

`Perhaps it would,' Alice replied cautiously.

`Then if the dog went away, its temper would remain!' theQueen exclaimed triumphantly.

Alice said, as gravely as she could, `They might go differentways.' But she couldn't help thinking to herself, `What dreadfulnonsense we

`She can't do sums a

`Can

The Queen gasped and shut her eyes. `I can do Addition,' `ifyou give me time -- but I can do Subtraction, under

`Of course you know your A B C?' said the Red Queen.

`To be sure I do.' said Alice.

`So do I,' the White Queen whispered: `we'll often say it overtogether, dear. And I'll tell you a secret -- I can read wordsof one letter! Isn't

Here the Red Queen began again. `Can you answer usefulquestions?' she said. `How is bread made?'

`I know

`Where do you pick the flower?' the White Queen asked. `In agarden, or in the hedges?'

`Well, it isn't

`How many acres of ground?' said the White Queen. `You mustn'tleave out so many things.'

`Fan her head!' the Red Queen anxiously interrupted. `She'llbe feverish after so much thinking.' So they set to work andfanned her with bunches of leaves, till she had to beg them toleave off, it blew her hair about so.

`She's all right again now,' said the Red Queen. `Do you knowLanguages? What's the French for fiddle-de-dee?'

`Fiddle-de-dee's not English,' Alice replied gravely.

`Who ever said it was?' said the Red Queen.

Alice thought she saw a way out of the difficulty this time.`If you'll tell me what language "fiddle-de-dee" is, I'll tellyou the French for it!' she exclaimed triumphantly.

But the Red Queen drew herself up rather stiffly, and said`Queens never make bargains.'

`I wish Queens never asked questions,' Alice thought toherself.

`Don't let us quarrel,' the White Queen said in an anxioustone. `What is the cause of lightning?'

`The cause of lightning,' Alice said very decidedly, for shefelt quite certain about this, `is the thunder -- no, no!' shehastily corrected herself. `I meant the other way.'

`It's too late to correct it,' said the Red Queen: `whenyou've once said a thing, that fixes it, and you must take theconsequences.'

`Which reminds me -- ' the White Queen said, looking down andnervously clasping and unclasping her hands, `we had

Alice was puzzled. `In

The Red Queen said, `That's a poor thin way of doing things.Now

`Are five nights warmer than one night, then?' Alice venturedto ask.

`Five times as warm, of course.'

`But they should be five times as

`Just so!' cried the Red Queen. `Five times as warm,

Alice sighted and gave it up. `It's exactly like a riddle withno answer!' she thought.

`Humpty Dumpty saw it too,' the White Queen went on in a lowvoice, more as if she were talking to herself. `He came to thedoor with a corkscrew in his hand -- '

`What did he want?' said the Red Queen.

`He said he

`Is there generally?' Alice asked in an astonished tone.

`Well, only on Thursdays,' said the Queen.

`I know what he came for,' said Alice: `he wanted to punishthe fish, because -- '

Here the White Queen began again. `It was

Alice thought to herself, `I never should

`Your Majesty must excuse her,' the Red Queen said to Alice,taking one of the White Queen's hands in her own, and gentlystroking it: `she means well, but she can't help saying foolishthings, as a general rule.'

The White Queen looked timidly at Alice, who felt she

`She never was really well brought up,' the Red Queen went on:`but it's amazing how good-tempered she is! Pat her on the head,and see how pleased she'll be!' But this was more than Alice hadcourage to do.

`A little kindness -- and putting her hair in papers -- woulddo wonders with her -- '

The White Queen gave a deep sigh, and laid her head on Alice'sshoulder. `I

`She's tired, poor thing!' said the Red Queen. `Smooth herhair -- lend her your nightcap -- and sing her a soothinglullaby.'

`I haven't got a nightcap with me,' said Alice, as she tried toobey the first direction: `and I don't know any soothinglullabies."

`I must do it myself, then,' said the Red Queen, and she began:

`Hush-a-by lady, in Alice's lap!

`What

The snoring got more distinct every minute, and sounded morelike a tune: at last she could even make out the words, and shelistened so eagerly that, when the two great heads vanished fromher lap, she hardly missed them.

She was standing before an arched doorway over which were thewords "QUEEN ALICE" in large letters, and on each side of the archthere was a bell-handle; one was marked `Visitors' Bell,' and theother `Servants' Bell.'

`I'll wait till the song's over,' thought Alice, `and then I'llring -- the --

Just then the door opened a little way, and a creature with along beak put its head out for a moment and said `No admittancetill the week after next!' and shut the door again with a bang.

Alice knocked and rang in vain for a long time, but at last, avery old Frog, who was sitting under a tree, got up and hobbledslowly towards her: he was dressed in bright yellow, and hadenormous boots on.

`What is it, now?' the Frog said in a deep hoarse whisper.

Alice turned round, ready to find fault with anybody. `Where'sthe servant whose business it is to answer the door?' she beganangrily.

`Which door?' said the Frog.

Alice almost stamped with irritation at the slow drawl in whichhe spoke. `

The Frog looked at the door with his large dull eyes for aminute: then he went nearer and rubbed it with his thumb, as ifhe were trying whether the paint would come off; then he lookedat Alice.

`To answer the door?' he said. `What's it been asking of?' Hewas so hoarse that Alice could scarcely hear him.

`I don't know what you mean,' she said.

`I talks English, doesn't I?' the Frog went on. `Or are youdeaf? What did it ask you?'

`Nothing!' Alice said impatiently. `I've been knocking at it!'

`Shouldn't do that -- shouldn't do that -- ' the Frog muttered.`Wexes it, you know.' Then he went up and gave the door a kickwith one of his great feet. `You let

At this moment the door was flung open, and a shrill voice washeard singing:

`To the Looking-Glass world it was Alice that said,

`Then fill up the glasses as quick as you can,

`"O Looking-Glass creatures," quothe Alice, "draw near!

Then came the chorus again: --

`Then fill up the glasses with treacle and ink,

Alice glanced nervously along the table, as she walked up thelarge hall, and noticed that there were about fifty quests, ofall kinds: some were animals, some birds, and there were even afew flowers among them. `I'm glad they've come without waitingto be asked,' she thought: `I should never have known who werethe right people to invite!'

There were three chairs at the head of the table; the Red andWhite Queens had already taken two of them, but the middle onewas empty. Alice sat down in it, rather uncomfortable in thesilence, and longing for some one to speak.

At last the Red Queen began. `You've missed the soup andfish,' she said. `Put on the joint!' And the waiters set a legof mutton before Alice, who looked at it rather anxiously, as shehad never had to carve a joint before.

`You look a little shy; let me introduce you to that leg ofmutton,' said the Red Queen. `Alice -- Mutton; Mutton -- Alice.'The leg of mutton got up in the dish and made a little bow toAlice; and Alice returned the bow, not knowing whether to befrightened or amused.

`May I give you a slice?' she said, taking up the knife andfork, and looking from one Queen to the other.

`Certainly not,' the Red Queen, very decidedly: `it isn'tetiquette to cut any one you've been introduced to. Remove thejoint!' And the waiters carried it off, and brought a largeplum-pudding in its place.

`I won't be introduced to the pudding, please,' Alice saidrather hastily, `or shall we get no dinner at all. May I giveyou some?'

But the Red Queen looked sulky, and growled `Pudding -- Alice;Alice -- Pudding. Remove the pudding!' and the waiters took italways so quickly that Alice couldn't return its bow.

However, she didn't see why the Red Queen should be the onlyone to give orders, so, as an experiment, she called out `Waiter!Bring back the pudding!' and there it was again in a moment likea conjuring-trick. It was so large that she couldn't helpfeeling a

`What impertinence!' said the Pudding. `I wonder how you'dlike it, if I were to cut a slice out of

`It spoke in a thick, suety sort of voice, and Alice hadn't aword to say in reply: she could only sit and look at it andgasp.

`Make a remark,' said the Red Queen: `it's ridiculous to leaveall the conversation to the pudding!'

`Do you know, I've had such a quantity of poetry repeated to meto-day,' Alice began, a little frightened at finding that, themoment she opened her lips, there was dead silence, and all eyeswere fixed upon her; `and it's a very curious thing, I think --every poem was about fishes in some way. Do you know why they'reso fond of fishes, all about here?'

She spoke to the Red Queen, whose answer was a little wide ofthe mark. `As to fishes,' she said, very slowly and solemnly,putting her mouth close to Alice's ear, `her White Majesty knowsa lovely riddle -- all in poetry -- all about fishes. Shall sherepeat it?'

`Her Red Majesty's very kind to mention it,' the White Queenmurmured into Alice's other ear, in a voice like the cooing of apigeon. `It would be

`Please do,' Alice said very politely.

The White Queen laughed with delight, and stroked Alice'scheek. Then she began:

"`First, the fish must be caught.'

`Now cook me the fish!'

`Bring it here! Let me sup!'

For it holds it like glue --

`You ought to return thanks in a neat speech,' the Red Queensaid, frowning at Alice as she spoke.

`We must support you, you know,' the White Queen whispered, asAlice got up to do it, very obediently, but a little frightened.

`Thank you very much,' she whispered in reply, `but I can doquite well without.'

`That wouldn't be at all the thing,' the Red Queen said verydecidedly: so Alice tried to submit to it with a good grace.

(And they

In fact it was rather difficult for her to keep in her placewhile she made her speech: the two Queens pushed her so, one oneach side, that they nearly lifted her up into the air: `I riseto return thanks -- ' Alice began: and she really

`Take care of yourself!' screamed the White Queen, seizingAlice's hair with both her hands. `Something's going to happen!'

And then (as Alice afterwards described it) all sorts of thinghappened in a moment. The candles all grew up to the ceiling,looking something like a bed of rushes with fireworks at the top.As to the bottles, they each took a pair of plates, which theyhastily fitted on as wings, and so, with forks for legs, wentfluttering about in all directions: `and very like birds theylook,' Alice thought to herself, as well as she could in thedreadful confusion that was beginning.

At this moment she heard a hoarse laugh at her side, and turnto see what was the matter with the White Queen; but, instead ofthe Queen, there was the leg of mutton sitting in the chair.`Here I am!' cried a voice from the soup tureen, and Alice turnedagain, just in time to see the Queen's broad good-natured facegrinning at the for a moment over the edge of the tureen, beforeshe disappeared into the soup.

There was not a moment to be lost. Already several of theguests were lying down in the dishes, and the soup ladle waswalking up the table towards Alice's chair, and beckoning to herimpatiently to get out of its way.

`I can't stand this any longer!' she cried as she jumped up andseized the table-cloth with both hands: one good pull, andplates, dishes, guests, and candles came crashing down togetherin a heap on the floor.

`And as for

At any other time, Alice would have felt surprised at this, butshe was far too much excited to be surprised at anything